by Fr. Gregory-David Jones, O.S.B.

      The words “I did not know him” may come as a surprise to our modern minds because they were pronounced by a man who was known for his simplicity and holiness.  Twice in this passage John the Baptist makes this statement, confirming the nature of Christian discipleship – that being a follower of Jesus is no ordinary relationship.  We can know the Lord on a certain, simple level, but to really know Jesus is not something that happens within a matter of hours, days, years or even a life-time.  But what are we aiming for in life if knowing Jesus is unattainable? 

     First of all, this mystery of discipleship may seem like a very discouraging fact, but in order for us to ever grow spiritually, it is necessary for us to look at reality as it really is.  The lack of fulfillment, the feeling of emptiness and the constant dissatisfaction that we feel with our lives are actually positive spiritual signs.  Jesus is never too far from us to touch us with His grace and call us to Himself.  When we seek Him through prayer, reading the Scriptures and service to others, another fact will reveal itself – the more we know of Him, the more we realize how much more we need to know Him. 

     If we are truly disciples of the Lord, there will never be a point in our lives in which we will be satisfied with ourselves, because the fact of our unworthiness and the greatness of God’s nature will be revealed to us.  This will in turn motivate us to constantly seek Him more and more and appreciate the depth of His mercy.  There will never be a point in anyone’s life when this process is complete and even after our lives are complete on this earth our ever-lasting joy will be a constant process of growth in the knowledge and love of the Almighty.

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