by Fr. Gregory-David Jones, O.S.B.

       Oftentimes at workplaces there is a process called S.O.P., short for Standard Operating Procedure, which are steps for accomplishing a given task.  This ensures that there is consistency of quality and efficiency for a product or service that is performed.  What Jesus describes for his disciples in dealing with offenses can be considered similar to the S.O.P. of a company.  However, the main focus is not simply the quality of the task to be accomplished, but the reconciliation of minds and hearts through a genuine desire to understand the other person and the power of forgiveness.

     Considering the steps that Jesus describes if someone offends us by his or her actions, he never leaves us as individuals to make a judgment about the other person’s motive or even the gravity of what we perceive as an offense.  A standardized procedure will likely fail if it is followed with an intent other than its purpose.  If we confront someone in order to prove he or she is evil, the intent is completely wrong.  Even if we make our case to the point that the one we accuse admits wrongdoing, we failed because that was not the goal.  The aim of dialogue in all of these steps is reconciliation, not condemnation.  

     To truly desire reconciliation means that we have to be open to listening to the other person without judging their words through our bitter feelings (as valid as they may be).  It means having an openness to the possibility that we may have misinterpreted the other person’s actions or even admit that our own actions may have contributed to the damage in the relationship.  The goal of the steps of reconciliation is to not simply to correct behavior, but to make our lives together as members of Christ’s Church more reflective of the Divine love that flows from his Heart of Mercy.

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